371 Mindful

As my friend marks her mothers first death anniversary, written in the first person with immense feeling

Have you found a place in heaven, I wonder oh mama
Or distraught, do you seem to haplessly worry for me
I miss you so, my thoughts flounder and I stammer
As I'm reminded of the love embodied by thee

I still feel your shield of protection surrounding us
Your daughter and granddaughter as we walk on
I don't see the meaning in life anymore, I do but fuss
I miss your voice as melodious as the coming dawn

I wonder at my friends who've lost parents and wonder
How they seem to smile, while my innards beg me weep
I sit dazed by the thought of every past summer
When you would hold my hand and teach me to keep

My thoughts focused on things bright and beautiful
Then the reverie is broken and I feel the acute pain
Of the present moment which I yearn to again fill
With your vital presence, but I won't see you again

Unless I too visit the hereafter and am one with you
Oh tranquil heart, what would you say to calm me
As I run, this ragged heart of mine fatigued and blue
I look for a strain of you, but a vacant chair is all I see